My Confession

Bless me Father, for I have sinned… On Oct 25th, 2005, (the same day we went to the David Crowder Band Concert in Tulsa) my company had organized a bake sale to raise money for United Way. I missed a planning meeting three weeks prior to the bake sale, and guess what: someone signed me up to bake cookies without my consent.

I still don’t know who did it. I was ridiculed and paranoid about it. I know how to cook rice and ramen noodles; I should be pretty good at building railroads and walls, but I haven’t baked anything from scratch in my entire life. My pride told me that I shall not seek help from others, and if I can make popcorn using a microwave oven, I should be able to bake cookies with an oven.

I went to WalMart neighborhood market the day before the bake sale, and the whole environment suddenly becomes very foreign to me. I don’t know where I can get flour, or sugar. There are a million choices of eggs to choose from: different sizes (jumbo, large, medium, and small), different grade (A, B, C), different color (brown and white). We have more varieties of eggs than the different races of the people in that neighborhood market (Chinese and non-Chinese).

With all my frustrations of finding the ingredients and concerns that I can’t make good cookies (as people often say that it sucks the first time), the pressure and stress started to build up. I begin to think about the abused children and abused women that depend on the funds raised from this bake sale; I told myself that I really can’t mess it up. When I was looking for butter, I found the Pillsbury Dough Boy from the “ready to bake cookies” package smiling at me.

He said to me, “Feeling abandon and alone? No girls to help you bake? I understand you and your situation completely. It is not a sin that you are single. You don’t need women to bake good cookies; I am a boy and I make good cookies…”

But, I said, “In Genesis 2:18, the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.””

Pillsbury Boy, “I don’t see a helper next to you. How come they never call back, and are busy all the time? How come they didn’t show up when you need them the most? Remember the jail time you serve on your graduation day? The good news is that technically, nobody knows my gender, and all they did was poke at me. So, I guess I could be your helper for tomorrow bake sale.”

I said, “That makes sense.”

I pondered for a while, and I asked the question, “How much?”

He said, “2 dollar and seventy-tree cents…”

Being Chinese, I haggle with the Pillsbury dough boy, “I give you 5 dollar for two. 5 dolllla!!!!”

He said, “two seventy tree is very cheap; can’t go lower or I will close down tomollow.”
Suddenly, a voice from the back said, “I take your 5 dollla for two; ready to eat. No baking for you.” The WalMart cookies have spoken.

I know I have a tough decision to make, and I am so confused that I can’t think. I try to listen to my heart, but my stomach voiced his opinion, “Me so hungry; NEED food NOW; you go Home Now and cook me some rice.”

So, I follow my stomach feeling, and pick out a chocolate chips and white chocolate chips cookies to the cart, and head to the check out lane. While waiting at the lane, I was thinking why do I pick 1 regular and 1 white chocolate, but not both regular, or both white? What would affirmative action say about it? How come we can send men to the moon but can’t have a working thermostat at the office. None of the thermostats work correctly, they are either too hot or too cold, and coworkers get mad at each other when someone changes the temperature. Why do we have abused children and abused women? Why do women fall in love with the wrong guy? Is attraction a choice? If so, there is not a whole I can do if I like someone but she doesn’t like me. If I try to do something, am I manipulating her? Why am I getting eggs and flour?”

I went home and took the cookies out of the package. I put 2 cookies in each Ziploc bag, and took them to work. My cookies sold for $1 per bag; it’s a great deal. They sold out in the very beginning. People love it so much and they ask me for recipe. I smiled and didn’t say anything.

I should have told them the truth, but I didn’t have the courage to do that. I’m so thrown; I don’t know what to do but to give you my confessions.